Op-ed by a GENIUS
My name is Bum Bum Jones, and I was born on April 21st during the early 90’s. Eleven months into my journey, I took my first steps. Exactly one year later I began speaking the English language. And by the age of three, I was cooking omlettes, filing taxes, and receiving college applications from Ivy League Schools. To say I was a “Gifted” child is an understatement. My mother wanted to name me Genius Jones, but my father won the coin toss and named me Richard. I initially didn’t like my name until he mentioned it means King in Swahili and has a related name in English. Who can argue against that?
Anyway, life is good. I’m healthy, happy, and lucky to have dodged being nominated for the Ice Bucket Challenge. One thing I haven’t been able to dodge is my wife insisting that I dress like Alec Baldwin. Did I mention that I’ve been Ironing my clothes and dressing myself since I was 33 months old? And what’s with this double standard business??? If a man tells a woman what to wear he’s labeled controlling. When a woman “suggest” to a man what to wear, she insists she’s doing what’s best for him. WHAT?!?!? (Take a Deep Breath)
Since when has it become cool to tell the love of your life what to wear? Why should we allow our significant other to mute our form of expression? Good thing I figured out a happy medium that works for my wife and I. When she picks out an outfit for me to wear, I put it on without hesitation. But as soon as I get home, I change clothes.